Allowing Your Child To Blossom

ALLOWING YOUR CHILD TO BLOSSOM
“Managing Behavior With Tender Loving Care”

Children are wonderful unique beings with their own individual set of values, abilities, and strengths. When very young they are in the process of developing those values, and require positive mentoring, as well as the freedom and space to evolve. According to child psychologist, Haim Ginott, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” Within that freedom and space, it is paramount to set-up boundaries and limits, and apply them consistently.

When faced with challenging behavior, your love for your child will get you through, as long as you have a viable game and safety plan in place. The structure of this plan is paramount, but within that structure there is plenty of room for innovation and individualized implementation. Setting up a win-win scenario for all parties involved will lead to creative and productive interactions.

One important point to consider is to keep in mind your desired outcome, and see the genuine loving being within your child no matter what the behavior. Carl Gustav Jung, a well-known 20th century Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, in his book “Symbols of
Transformation”, speaks about the process of “antiadromia”. This is the process of converting something into its opposite. In other words, getting the opposite of what you want. In our interactions with children this is something to guard against. An aura and stance of self confidence, while holding firm to our request and the boundaries that we set, will instill a positive pattern of compliance within your child. For example, instead of saying, “You should stop that or you will get consequences”, preferably state, “You might stop yelling if you don’t wish to get
consequences”. “Might” rather than “should” will help connect to the child at a higher vibrational level. They are more willing to HEAR “might” than “should”.

Developing communication techniques that strike a cord within the child, motivating the child to comply, is extremely important. For example, asking a child why they are always doing this or that is an immediate turn off. For one thing, they are not “always” doing anything. They may use vulgar language a lot, but even if they talk in their sleep they are not “always” doing it. A much preferred way of expressing yourself is to say something like, “I often experience you using vulgar language” or “I sometimes hear you using inappropriate language.”

The following are a few ideas to consider when interacting with your child.

· BE the person you want your child to BE.
· Separate the child from the behavior.
· Accept your child where he or she currently is, and begin the healing from there.
· Learn to be the “calm” within the storm.
· Vary your tone of voice depending on the situation.
· Always consider the setting.
· Safety and supervision always come first.
· A good sense of humor will definitely help your cause.
· Be compassionate with yourself and your children.
· Learn to take your own time-outs.
· Learn your child’s strengths and weaknesses.
· Be non-judgmental.
· Develop patience and resilience.
· Be consistent in applying strategies while expecting and being willing to endure the resistance and initial escalation in behavior.
· Do all this with unconditional love.

By keeping in mind these ideas, and practicing some of the strategies, you will create a Tool Belt of Success that will empower both you and your child, and help channel all your energy
into constructive outlets.

Email me directly at stristus@gmail.com or post on my Blog at:
http://josephwilliamscorner.blogspot.com/ with any questions or topics in
which you wish to have covered more extensively. There is a FREE five (5)
part series of emails that addresses some of these issues more thoroughly at:
http://www.overcomingdefiance.com/

Enjoy the process!

Joseph

Article Source: http://insightpros.com

Joseph William Stasaitis, B.A., MSS, FTS Resistance Transformation Associates A Division of The STASAITIS Group 759 S. State St., Ste. 53 Ukiah, CA 95482 stristus@gmail.com josephwilliamscorner.blogspot.com/ www.overcomingdefiance.com/ About Joseph William Stasaitis Joseph has worked with troubled teens, the developmentally disabled, and younger children for over three decades. After completing a degree in psychology from the Unive

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